Forth installment, if you have read the previous scroll down, this is not PC, you have been warned !
The Plan
The simple version of the plan is to do enough training, so that you find your self at 20 miles into the run in good shape, so that you can run the last 6 miles to the finish. 6 miles from the finish is actually the half way mark, once there you’re over the hump and a smile starts to creep on to your face, by the time you hit the line you will have a big shit eating grin that last for years. That is what we are going to do here.
The first thing is to have a plan, there are loads on the internet some you have to pay for, some are free, the choice is yours. Do you want to do a 13 week, 26 week or a 52 week program, figure out how much time you are going to spend on this, I prefer a long lead up, working on my base and endurance. Then go hard for 13 weeks, with a built in two week taper, any longer than that and my attention starts to wander, plus it don’t seem to long for your support crew to put up with your prima donna shit.
I do have a plan on the original script, this blog won't let me post it from excel, if you want a copy, drop me an email.
Friends, neutrals and speedbumps
I find my self putting people into one of three groups:
Friends, these are people who believe in me and support me in my endeavours, tell me the truth and have a genuine interest in what I am doing. Guys that are willing to put themselves out for me, just as I would for them. You know who you are, love you loads
Neutrals, these are the ones that normally aren’t quite listening then the penny drops, they do the mental mathematics on the distances and they stand with their mouths open, or they just aren’t interested, that’s OK, they are happy with their lot, good for them.
Speedbumps, You are the biggest one, you will stop yourself from succeeding no one else, you are the one who will ultimately cave in, when the training gets hard or it’s raining, blowing, too hot, too cold or any other fucking excuse. They come in many guises, they often seem like friends only to worm their way in to stop you from succeeding, some of the things they come out with seem innocuous, “You are training a lot, are you OK”, may sound like concern but it sows doubt in the mind, or the usual one is “Your becoming obsessed with training”, of course you are, obsessed is what the lazy call the determined. Speedbumps are the ones who tell you that it’s stupid to attempt such things, Fuck ‘em, go round them, don’t listen to their shit, they’re just jealous they haven’t the commitment you have, yet these are the same twats that bask in your reflected glory when you finish, “Yeah, my mate does the Ironman”, twat, or “ I knew he could do it really”, no they fucking didn’t cos they’re speedbumps, they don’t like any one else to realise they dreams, cos it make them think of their own wasted life.
Blueprint of a psychotic
Ironman is not hobby or something you do to impress “the partner”, it’s a way of life, an addiction an all consuming passion to finish or improve. If you can’t or won’t commit to it then fuck off, why have you read this much if you can’t commit. I’m not fucking about here, you become driven, obsessed, controlled by it, it takes over your life.
When your friends are going for a night out, you’re having an early night cos you have a 100 mile ride followed by a 8 mile run the following morning and you know it will fuck you up if you go with them. Your whole life revolves around training and racing, your view of society is not what it was, you look at people differently.
Let a ‘normal’ person read this, they won’t understand that we feel nervous, irritable and discontented with life if we don’t get our fix and that is what out training becomes, our drug of choice, we are no different to drug addicts, alcoholics, gamblers or any thing else that is addictive.
We live to train and train to live, everything else become secondary, although we say we give over time to friends and family, it’s done grudgingly, be fucking honest.
Notice how twitchy you become during rest days, the taper weeks are unbearable, this is normal for us, we have a distorted view of life, mortals will never understand it.
JFT Graham
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
Wednesday, 16 September 2009
Third installment, if you havn't read the others scroll down. WARNING ! contains adult language and themes..........
Base
Lets face it if you are a big fat lardy cunt that waddles like a bulldog and have to talc your thighs, at the moment this is probably not for you, work on it for a couple of years and get that Thermite burning nice and hot, on the other hand maybe you’ve done a couple of Oly’s or a HIM and want to move it up a level. To be honest you need to develop a good base to work off, endurance and a solid core are essential.
The base comes from long winter training sessions at a lower intensity, throwing in the occasional speed session, think nothing of going down the pool for a 4k focused swim from Dec to Jan, or doing 3 or 4 hours on the Turbo trainer(I mean it I’ll bitch slap you, if you carry on thinking like that).
When it’s pissing it down and too dark to get out, don’t be a twat about riding in the dark, car drivers can’t see you on a sunny day so you’ve no fucking chance at night. Buy Spinerval DVDs, I recommend, Mental Toughness, Tough love and Have Mercy 2 (The sequel), Coach Troy takes you through a one and a half, two and 3 hours of structured workout, the time just flies by.
Get well wrapped up and go for 2 hour runs once or twice a week, shorter runs of one hour at lunch, as long as you’re focused on what you’re doing forget about speed for the winter, we’ll deal with the Billy and bricks later!
Ironman is all about endurance, you can’t race it if you haven’t got it, I dropped a guy that used to train with me after he suggested that we take a short cut on a 70 miler, “only do 50 but tell every one that we rode a fast 70”, the guys a cunt, 5 years down the line I am regularly placed in the top 4 in endurance events, and he’s still a gunner (gunner do this, gunner do that). Don’t lie about your training, when you do you are cheating yourself, to me that is a crime against your dreams. Make your mind up, are you going to commit to this or just be another gunner.
Learn to breathe, I’m not kidding, the amount of people who have trained with me that say they run out of breath is unreal. Why do you breathe, if you said “ to get oxygen into the system” BONG! Wrong answer. You breathe to get rid of toxic build up in the body, that and I’ve taken my foot off your throat. You need to breathe all the crap out of the lungs before you refill them, think about it, this is basic shit you should know.
Your blood fills up with Carbon Dioxide, dumps it in the lungs, you get rid of it by breathing out, if you don’t empty your lungs how can you replenish the oxygen in the muscles.
Focus on your breath, it will pay dividends.
Core
Without a strong core you have squat, I’m not talking 6 pack or a Muscle Mary, it’s developing core strength that you can build your endurance on. The following are photos of the exercises I do to develop my core, I know people have different name for them, don’t argue with me, just shut the fuck up and do them! Two or three times a week should do it, you must breathe with these exercises.
(I haven't got the room on this blog for the photos, look them up you idle twat)
The Plank, keep the body rigid for 6 normal breaths, do it 6 times and for fucks sake breathe…( insert photo here)
The Banana, lay on your side, find your balance, lift your legs and stretch down with your arm, hold for 6 breaths, do it 6 times. …( insert photo here)
The Sky Diver, onto your belly, lift your arms up and back at the same time as lifting your legs, 6 by 6. …( insert photo here)
Spotty Dog (gotta be over 40 to get that one), like the Sky Diver only opposite arm and leg, 6 by 6. …( insert photo here)
Mini-ups, like sit ups, but again just come up about 6 inches, watch your back and hold for 6 by 6. …( insert photo here)
This is not a substitute for weight training, you idle twat, it complements it.
Nutrition
Here’s some thing for you to think about, training does not make you faster or stronger. Training + recovery + right nutrition, will. Think about it, if you put shit fuel in a Formula One race car, it’s ain’t gonna run right, right!
Run your own car on too lean or too rich, a mixture and you get shit mileage, and/or a fucked up engine,
Think about it, you are that engine! Shit in = Shit out. I’m not talking about becoming a diet freak, just common sense. If you eat nothing but junk food, chips, burgers, kebabs, fry ups, vast quantities of booze, don’t expect the kind of recovery you get with Right eating. Plenty of clean carbs good balance of clean protein and a little good fat. Throw away the fucking frying pan! Stop living on take aways.
The ‘Eat all you can’ sign in restaurants is not a challenge, but it is fun, I’ve been to places with friends who where in heavy training like myself, after a while they ask us to ease up cos there are other people that would like to eat at the buffet, cool. Another time at a pasta party I was asked to put food back if I wasn’t going to eat it, Fucking muppet.
Clean carbs.
Pasta, bread, potatoes, rice (brown or white), sweet potatoes, loads of veggies, just don’t cover them in fats.
Clean protein.
Chicken, steak(lean), fish if you eat flesh, Quorn, TVP, cottage cheese if your Veggi. Again no fats.
Clean fats.
Peanut butter, olive oil, grapeseed oil. All used in moderation.
Lots of fluids, fuck off, that’s not an excuse to drink beer and claim your carbo loading, I tried that one, ended up in AA. Drink water, juices (if you can afford a juicer even better), energy drinks before, during and after training. Hydration is paramount.
My diet was really fucked up until my coach got hold of it, sorted me out a treat. Still inhale food 6 times a day, 4,500 – 5,000 calories a day in peak weeks. I’m a veggi, even so, don’t come near me when I’m eating unless you want to pull back a fucking stump, I think nothing of destroying a fully loaded Veggi pizza the size and thickness of a toilet seat on my own as a snack, you’ve gotta feed the machine!
Try to eat every 3 hours or so, it doesn’t have to be a full meal, just keep the stomach on idle, Fruit or energy bars to snack on during the day are good, small and regular through out the day, my last meal is about 10 o’clock at night, usually a peanut butter and banana sarni washed down with a protein shake, if your head is telling you, you can’t eat that late, look out side your front door, me and Ray Liotta are waiting there to pistol whip you, just like in the film Goodfellows, you pussy.
Base
Lets face it if you are a big fat lardy cunt that waddles like a bulldog and have to talc your thighs, at the moment this is probably not for you, work on it for a couple of years and get that Thermite burning nice and hot, on the other hand maybe you’ve done a couple of Oly’s or a HIM and want to move it up a level. To be honest you need to develop a good base to work off, endurance and a solid core are essential.
The base comes from long winter training sessions at a lower intensity, throwing in the occasional speed session, think nothing of going down the pool for a 4k focused swim from Dec to Jan, or doing 3 or 4 hours on the Turbo trainer(I mean it I’ll bitch slap you, if you carry on thinking like that).
When it’s pissing it down and too dark to get out, don’t be a twat about riding in the dark, car drivers can’t see you on a sunny day so you’ve no fucking chance at night. Buy Spinerval DVDs, I recommend, Mental Toughness, Tough love and Have Mercy 2 (The sequel), Coach Troy takes you through a one and a half, two and 3 hours of structured workout, the time just flies by.
Get well wrapped up and go for 2 hour runs once or twice a week, shorter runs of one hour at lunch, as long as you’re focused on what you’re doing forget about speed for the winter, we’ll deal with the Billy and bricks later!
Ironman is all about endurance, you can’t race it if you haven’t got it, I dropped a guy that used to train with me after he suggested that we take a short cut on a 70 miler, “only do 50 but tell every one that we rode a fast 70”, the guys a cunt, 5 years down the line I am regularly placed in the top 4 in endurance events, and he’s still a gunner (gunner do this, gunner do that). Don’t lie about your training, when you do you are cheating yourself, to me that is a crime against your dreams. Make your mind up, are you going to commit to this or just be another gunner.
Learn to breathe, I’m not kidding, the amount of people who have trained with me that say they run out of breath is unreal. Why do you breathe, if you said “ to get oxygen into the system” BONG! Wrong answer. You breathe to get rid of toxic build up in the body, that and I’ve taken my foot off your throat. You need to breathe all the crap out of the lungs before you refill them, think about it, this is basic shit you should know.
Your blood fills up with Carbon Dioxide, dumps it in the lungs, you get rid of it by breathing out, if you don’t empty your lungs how can you replenish the oxygen in the muscles.
Focus on your breath, it will pay dividends.
Core
Without a strong core you have squat, I’m not talking 6 pack or a Muscle Mary, it’s developing core strength that you can build your endurance on. The following are photos of the exercises I do to develop my core, I know people have different name for them, don’t argue with me, just shut the fuck up and do them! Two or three times a week should do it, you must breathe with these exercises.
(I haven't got the room on this blog for the photos, look them up you idle twat)
The Plank, keep the body rigid for 6 normal breaths, do it 6 times and for fucks sake breathe…( insert photo here)
The Banana, lay on your side, find your balance, lift your legs and stretch down with your arm, hold for 6 breaths, do it 6 times. …( insert photo here)
The Sky Diver, onto your belly, lift your arms up and back at the same time as lifting your legs, 6 by 6. …( insert photo here)
Spotty Dog (gotta be over 40 to get that one), like the Sky Diver only opposite arm and leg, 6 by 6. …( insert photo here)
Mini-ups, like sit ups, but again just come up about 6 inches, watch your back and hold for 6 by 6. …( insert photo here)
This is not a substitute for weight training, you idle twat, it complements it.
Nutrition
Here’s some thing for you to think about, training does not make you faster or stronger. Training + recovery + right nutrition, will. Think about it, if you put shit fuel in a Formula One race car, it’s ain’t gonna run right, right!
Run your own car on too lean or too rich, a mixture and you get shit mileage, and/or a fucked up engine,
Think about it, you are that engine! Shit in = Shit out. I’m not talking about becoming a diet freak, just common sense. If you eat nothing but junk food, chips, burgers, kebabs, fry ups, vast quantities of booze, don’t expect the kind of recovery you get with Right eating. Plenty of clean carbs good balance of clean protein and a little good fat. Throw away the fucking frying pan! Stop living on take aways.
The ‘Eat all you can’ sign in restaurants is not a challenge, but it is fun, I’ve been to places with friends who where in heavy training like myself, after a while they ask us to ease up cos there are other people that would like to eat at the buffet, cool. Another time at a pasta party I was asked to put food back if I wasn’t going to eat it, Fucking muppet.
Clean carbs.
Pasta, bread, potatoes, rice (brown or white), sweet potatoes, loads of veggies, just don’t cover them in fats.
Clean protein.
Chicken, steak(lean), fish if you eat flesh, Quorn, TVP, cottage cheese if your Veggi. Again no fats.
Clean fats.
Peanut butter, olive oil, grapeseed oil. All used in moderation.
Lots of fluids, fuck off, that’s not an excuse to drink beer and claim your carbo loading, I tried that one, ended up in AA. Drink water, juices (if you can afford a juicer even better), energy drinks before, during and after training. Hydration is paramount.
My diet was really fucked up until my coach got hold of it, sorted me out a treat. Still inhale food 6 times a day, 4,500 – 5,000 calories a day in peak weeks. I’m a veggi, even so, don’t come near me when I’m eating unless you want to pull back a fucking stump, I think nothing of destroying a fully loaded Veggi pizza the size and thickness of a toilet seat on my own as a snack, you’ve gotta feed the machine!
Try to eat every 3 hours or so, it doesn’t have to be a full meal, just keep the stomach on idle, Fruit or energy bars to snack on during the day are good, small and regular through out the day, my last meal is about 10 o’clock at night, usually a peanut butter and banana sarni washed down with a protein shake, if your head is telling you, you can’t eat that late, look out side your front door, me and Ray Liotta are waiting there to pistol whip you, just like in the film Goodfellows, you pussy.
Friday, 11 September 2009
Second installment, this is just as abusive as the first, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, if you're just starting to read this, scroll down to read the earlier missives.
JFT Graham
JFT (Just fucking train)
I have a T-shirt from Animal pak that has the logo “Shut the fuck up and train” that kinda sums it all up, this is not abuse, it’s a simple fact, if you want to train, you train like your life depended on it, every length you swim, every mile you bike and run takes you closer to your dream being realised. Remember, an unfulfilled dream is just mental masturbation. Fuck every thing else, nothing matters other than the session, no bills, no family problems, no office politics, not what you’re going to eat, no Tesco shopping, no he said/ she said shit, come training with me and start that crap and I’ll bitch slap you like you’re ginger.
Every time you train, mentally light that internal fuse that ignites the fire storm inside, have you ever seen Thermite burn, become an animal, you’re not doing this to impress any one, so fuck ‘em, if they come out with the usual shit “It’s not good for you” ask them if they’ve looked in the mirror lately cos it’s usually said by a lardy cunt, or the classic “Don’t you think your doing too much” ask them what their experience of doing an Ironman is, if they’ve never done one repeat these words “BITE ME”, accept experience not thoughts, keep the focus going no matter what, when the internal critic starts up with all the negative crap, mentally bite it in the face and laugh out loud. If you have no control over any thing else, you control your training!. Accept nothing but your best, every session is your last one, so enjoy it.
There will be times when you push yourself so hard that you dump your last meal all over the bars of your turbo trainer or into the gutter at the end of the swim lane, when your head hurts and your lungs burn, when you run so hard you have sparkly bits in front of your eyes or your ears ring from oxygen debt so that the people talking to you sound like they are talking in a fucking tunnel, you have to micro-pore tape your nipples cos they’re bleeding, when you have to come down the stairs backward cos you quads are jelly, when you’ve been in the saddle so long there is no feeling in your genitals, remember I FEEL THAT SHIT TOO.
Find out what fires you up, for me it certain music, memories of going over the finish line, things that piss me off, people that I feel resentful to or hate, some things that are to dark to print. Some are really emotional, like how those who support me put themselves out for me, that shit really brings a lump to my throat. I gather that energy up and throw it on the fire, Burn! mother fucker Burn!. Energy is energy, use it constructively to take you closer to your dream.
Get you self a coach, someone who knows what it’s about and won’t take your shit, I guarantee you will improve beyond your wildest dreams. A coach can look at what you’re doing from a different angle and spot things you can’t, best thing I ever did was to get a coach, solid training.
When Daley Thompson was asked why he trained 4 times on Christmas Day, his answer was a simple one, ‘Cos my rivals only trained 3 times’. Do you understand yet? This is it your one shot at immortality, don’t fuck it up. You know that you can train harder, so you do. There are no limits to how much you can do, the only limiter is you. You will force yourself to do that last 400mts swim interval or the last mile of a run/bike, to the best of your abilities, no-one else. This is your commitment to greatness and I want you to succeed. When you finish a hard session, make sure that everyone who was training with you knows it. You want everyone leaving there to be afraid to train with you.” Fuck that, I ain't training with G4, he pushes all the fucking time”. I love to hear those words.Training hard does not mean running a marathon every session or riding a century every time you go out. Just because you train like an Animal doesn't mean you should destroy yourself. Train hard, work till you get the results you require, then stop. Recovery is your friend, if you’re recovering do it with focus. I have had loads of people asking me how do you get used to doing six hour rides, it’s simple, get on your bike and ride away from your house for 3 hours , turn round and ride back. You ride for six fucking hours, there’s no short cuts, endurance is endurance is endurance.
How do you know it’s going well? Look inside, be honest, you know the truth, Coach Troy came out with a good one “Remember you don’t cheat me you only cheat yourself” that one really hits home, when I want to back off, those words ring in my ears. When people that know me tell me I’m looking a little gaunt, that’s good, it means that I am coming down to race weight , that’s another thing, instead of paying thousands of pounds to lighten you road bike, drop some fucking lard, works out a lot cheaper.
How do you know when you’ve done too much, if you hear the words “ Oh, he’s coming round now” back off a bit, another clue is, piss should not be brown and burn when you pass it and finally you should not be shitting blood. It’s OK to throw up, but not pass out.
‘Being your best’ has fuck all to do with beating anyone or being faster than so and so, it’s about looking inside and knowing that you gave that session your best shot, whether it was a hard session or a recovery one, know that it was the best you could do. Don’t let the Ego get in the way, I remember coming back off a 70 mile bike, after giving it my all, warming down over the last mile, when some 10 year old on a BMX says “ wanna race, mate? “ I gave him my best Paddington Bear hard stare and replied “ Piss off, before I push you off.”, patience is one of my strong points along with eloquence.
Do not mistake arrogance for confidence, we have confidence that borders on arrogance, nobody likes a dick, even a big one. It only takes one miss directed out burst to turn every one against you, learn to become humble with those that support and train with you, always thank people for training/racing with you, even if they are wankers. The fire that burns inside is yours, don’t externalise it, don’t waste it, harness it for that next training session. One other thing, always thank marshals and volunteers, if it wasn’t for them you couldn’t race, they do this for free. Learn humility, learn to grow, do some marshalling,
JFT Graham
JFT (Just fucking train)
I have a T-shirt from Animal pak that has the logo “Shut the fuck up and train” that kinda sums it all up, this is not abuse, it’s a simple fact, if you want to train, you train like your life depended on it, every length you swim, every mile you bike and run takes you closer to your dream being realised. Remember, an unfulfilled dream is just mental masturbation. Fuck every thing else, nothing matters other than the session, no bills, no family problems, no office politics, not what you’re going to eat, no Tesco shopping, no he said/ she said shit, come training with me and start that crap and I’ll bitch slap you like you’re ginger.
Every time you train, mentally light that internal fuse that ignites the fire storm inside, have you ever seen Thermite burn, become an animal, you’re not doing this to impress any one, so fuck ‘em, if they come out with the usual shit “It’s not good for you” ask them if they’ve looked in the mirror lately cos it’s usually said by a lardy cunt, or the classic “Don’t you think your doing too much” ask them what their experience of doing an Ironman is, if they’ve never done one repeat these words “BITE ME”, accept experience not thoughts, keep the focus going no matter what, when the internal critic starts up with all the negative crap, mentally bite it in the face and laugh out loud. If you have no control over any thing else, you control your training!. Accept nothing but your best, every session is your last one, so enjoy it.
There will be times when you push yourself so hard that you dump your last meal all over the bars of your turbo trainer or into the gutter at the end of the swim lane, when your head hurts and your lungs burn, when you run so hard you have sparkly bits in front of your eyes or your ears ring from oxygen debt so that the people talking to you sound like they are talking in a fucking tunnel, you have to micro-pore tape your nipples cos they’re bleeding, when you have to come down the stairs backward cos you quads are jelly, when you’ve been in the saddle so long there is no feeling in your genitals, remember I FEEL THAT SHIT TOO.
Find out what fires you up, for me it certain music, memories of going over the finish line, things that piss me off, people that I feel resentful to or hate, some things that are to dark to print. Some are really emotional, like how those who support me put themselves out for me, that shit really brings a lump to my throat. I gather that energy up and throw it on the fire, Burn! mother fucker Burn!. Energy is energy, use it constructively to take you closer to your dream.
Get you self a coach, someone who knows what it’s about and won’t take your shit, I guarantee you will improve beyond your wildest dreams. A coach can look at what you’re doing from a different angle and spot things you can’t, best thing I ever did was to get a coach, solid training.
When Daley Thompson was asked why he trained 4 times on Christmas Day, his answer was a simple one, ‘Cos my rivals only trained 3 times’. Do you understand yet? This is it your one shot at immortality, don’t fuck it up. You know that you can train harder, so you do. There are no limits to how much you can do, the only limiter is you. You will force yourself to do that last 400mts swim interval or the last mile of a run/bike, to the best of your abilities, no-one else. This is your commitment to greatness and I want you to succeed. When you finish a hard session, make sure that everyone who was training with you knows it. You want everyone leaving there to be afraid to train with you.” Fuck that, I ain't training with G4, he pushes all the fucking time”. I love to hear those words.Training hard does not mean running a marathon every session or riding a century every time you go out. Just because you train like an Animal doesn't mean you should destroy yourself. Train hard, work till you get the results you require, then stop. Recovery is your friend, if you’re recovering do it with focus. I have had loads of people asking me how do you get used to doing six hour rides, it’s simple, get on your bike and ride away from your house for 3 hours , turn round and ride back. You ride for six fucking hours, there’s no short cuts, endurance is endurance is endurance.
How do you know it’s going well? Look inside, be honest, you know the truth, Coach Troy came out with a good one “Remember you don’t cheat me you only cheat yourself” that one really hits home, when I want to back off, those words ring in my ears. When people that know me tell me I’m looking a little gaunt, that’s good, it means that I am coming down to race weight , that’s another thing, instead of paying thousands of pounds to lighten you road bike, drop some fucking lard, works out a lot cheaper.
How do you know when you’ve done too much, if you hear the words “ Oh, he’s coming round now” back off a bit, another clue is, piss should not be brown and burn when you pass it and finally you should not be shitting blood. It’s OK to throw up, but not pass out.
‘Being your best’ has fuck all to do with beating anyone or being faster than so and so, it’s about looking inside and knowing that you gave that session your best shot, whether it was a hard session or a recovery one, know that it was the best you could do. Don’t let the Ego get in the way, I remember coming back off a 70 mile bike, after giving it my all, warming down over the last mile, when some 10 year old on a BMX says “ wanna race, mate? “ I gave him my best Paddington Bear hard stare and replied “ Piss off, before I push you off.”, patience is one of my strong points along with eloquence.
Do not mistake arrogance for confidence, we have confidence that borders on arrogance, nobody likes a dick, even a big one. It only takes one miss directed out burst to turn every one against you, learn to become humble with those that support and train with you, always thank people for training/racing with you, even if they are wankers. The fire that burns inside is yours, don’t externalise it, don’t waste it, harness it for that next training session. One other thing, always thank marshals and volunteers, if it wasn’t for them you couldn’t race, they do this for free. Learn humility, learn to grow, do some marshalling,
Thursday, 10 September 2009
As we are coming to the end of the season, not a lot of training is happening, it's all recovery stuff.
I decided to post some thing I wrote a few years ago for those interested in moving up to ironman events, I warn you now, there is a LOT of swearing and abuse, if you are offended by such, do not read any further.
I'll publish it in sections, if you nick any of it at least credit me.
Graham
I decided to post some thing I wrote a few years ago for those interested in moving up to ironman events, I warn you now, there is a LOT of swearing and abuse, if you are offended by such, do not read any further.
I'll publish it in sections, if you nick any of it at least credit me.
Graham
The Long Road Ahead
So you have seen an Ironman Triathlon and now want to do one, you’re all fired up with enthusiasm and ready to go, inspired by what you saw. That incredible effort of mind over body, watching people go to the very edge.
Just think 2.4 mile swim, 112mile bike and 26.2 mile marathon to finish.
Sorry unless you have already done one you can’t, you haven’t got the time or the discipline, you couldn’t commit the next year to eighteen months to the training, you couldn’t do that distance, especially in the time allotted, what about your girlfriend/boyfriend, wife/husband, children, friends, social life then there’s the holiday in Ibiza, you have work commitments, just add to the list……….
That’s not me talking that’s your internal critic, listen, the little voice that whispers that you’re useless, hopeless, worthless anything that ends in less. That is what will stop you from achieving your dreams, not my abuse, that’s here to light the fire that will burn like a forest fire inside you and drive you to achieve your dream.
If you read the glossies that tell you how to be a ‘real man’, how to get a six pack in 6 weeks, how to pull the partner of you dreams, tell you what to eat to be desirable, fuck off, it’s all mental masturbation, you’re being controlled and manipulated to take on a life you don’t need, fuck ‘em, I’m here to destroy that.
If on the other hand your inner voice went ‘Fuck yeah, lets do it’, welcome to my world, blood, sweat, tears, pain, cramps, micropore taped nipples, an emotional roller coaster you would not believe, and a feeling that only you can experience when you cross the finish line and every time you pull on your finishers T-shirt, that one day of pain and suffering for a life long shit eating grin.
Had a guy, I work with, ask me to scrounge him a finisher T-shirt, just so he could wear it in the Gym, didn’t have to say a word, everyone in the office ripped into him. Fucking speed bump, wanna be.
If your content with ‘doing’ the occasional Fun Run or go swimming 2 or 3 times a week, but all you do is hang on the gutter at the end of the lane and talk to your friend, great, fuck off and do ‘em, I’m talking Hard Core Training, when all the others are rotting their brains watching the box on a dark winter night, I’m finishing a 3hr Turbo session and just going for a 6 mile warm down run or while others are tucked up at 7am in a nice warm bed on a cold, rainy Saturday morning I’m doing a 15ml run then gulping down protein drinks that taste like liquid shit, driving a 30mile round trip to the nearest pool that will put up a lane for me when the kids are off school.
We are talking dedication to a sport, there’s no bullshitting in Ironman, you make it to the start line or wuss out, and you’ve gotta believe me I’m talking from experience , 05 Longest Day saw me going into the water with a pulled back muscle, still made it to 13mls into the run, we’ll cover DNF in a later chapter.
To be even fit for an Ironman needs a good base, most don’t ‘race’ until they have 2 or 3 Ironman races under their belt, the first ones are just survival events, as I write this, in 2005, I’m 52 and just finishing my 20th year in Tri’s. It took me 16 years of racing and training to have the bollocks to have a proper go at the Ironman, and all I can tell you is they are fucking great, I don’t care how long you’ve been doing the shorter events nothing compares to finishing an Ironman.
So what do I need to do an Ironman, heart of a lion, stamina of an ox, the brain of a jelly fish and a fucking good sense of humour, lets face it if you can’t laugh at the stupidity of the distances you are going to die, one way or another, so gather up all the romantic images you have of this race and along with your inner critic and flush ‘em down the shitter for a couple of years.
So you have seen an Ironman Triathlon and now want to do one, you’re all fired up with enthusiasm and ready to go, inspired by what you saw. That incredible effort of mind over body, watching people go to the very edge.
Just think 2.4 mile swim, 112mile bike and 26.2 mile marathon to finish.
Sorry unless you have already done one you can’t, you haven’t got the time or the discipline, you couldn’t commit the next year to eighteen months to the training, you couldn’t do that distance, especially in the time allotted, what about your girlfriend/boyfriend, wife/husband, children, friends, social life then there’s the holiday in Ibiza, you have work commitments, just add to the list……….
That’s not me talking that’s your internal critic, listen, the little voice that whispers that you’re useless, hopeless, worthless anything that ends in less. That is what will stop you from achieving your dreams, not my abuse, that’s here to light the fire that will burn like a forest fire inside you and drive you to achieve your dream.
If you read the glossies that tell you how to be a ‘real man’, how to get a six pack in 6 weeks, how to pull the partner of you dreams, tell you what to eat to be desirable, fuck off, it’s all mental masturbation, you’re being controlled and manipulated to take on a life you don’t need, fuck ‘em, I’m here to destroy that.
If on the other hand your inner voice went ‘Fuck yeah, lets do it’, welcome to my world, blood, sweat, tears, pain, cramps, micropore taped nipples, an emotional roller coaster you would not believe, and a feeling that only you can experience when you cross the finish line and every time you pull on your finishers T-shirt, that one day of pain and suffering for a life long shit eating grin.
Had a guy, I work with, ask me to scrounge him a finisher T-shirt, just so he could wear it in the Gym, didn’t have to say a word, everyone in the office ripped into him. Fucking speed bump, wanna be.
If your content with ‘doing’ the occasional Fun Run or go swimming 2 or 3 times a week, but all you do is hang on the gutter at the end of the lane and talk to your friend, great, fuck off and do ‘em, I’m talking Hard Core Training, when all the others are rotting their brains watching the box on a dark winter night, I’m finishing a 3hr Turbo session and just going for a 6 mile warm down run or while others are tucked up at 7am in a nice warm bed on a cold, rainy Saturday morning I’m doing a 15ml run then gulping down protein drinks that taste like liquid shit, driving a 30mile round trip to the nearest pool that will put up a lane for me when the kids are off school.
We are talking dedication to a sport, there’s no bullshitting in Ironman, you make it to the start line or wuss out, and you’ve gotta believe me I’m talking from experience , 05 Longest Day saw me going into the water with a pulled back muscle, still made it to 13mls into the run, we’ll cover DNF in a later chapter.
To be even fit for an Ironman needs a good base, most don’t ‘race’ until they have 2 or 3 Ironman races under their belt, the first ones are just survival events, as I write this, in 2005, I’m 52 and just finishing my 20th year in Tri’s. It took me 16 years of racing and training to have the bollocks to have a proper go at the Ironman, and all I can tell you is they are fucking great, I don’t care how long you’ve been doing the shorter events nothing compares to finishing an Ironman.
So what do I need to do an Ironman, heart of a lion, stamina of an ox, the brain of a jelly fish and a fucking good sense of humour, lets face it if you can’t laugh at the stupidity of the distances you are going to die, one way or another, so gather up all the romantic images you have of this race and along with your inner critic and flush ‘em down the shitter for a couple of years.
Wednesday, 2 September 2009
This is a copy of an email from Tony Fisher, a legend in ultra racing,
Dear Graham
Nice to be ‘on-board’ with you all for the treble.
I am very happy to share experiences with you but pls remember, in the Big World of Statistics, my comments are based on N = 1 !
There’s no doubt about it, the 3xIM is plenty hard: some people say that when you are out there it is every bit as painful as the 10xIM .. just mercifully shorter. My own bête noir is the swim: it’s not very very long but too long not to take very seriously .. as a non-swimmer, I get really fed up with it: for a good swimmer like you, it will be a strength. Just swim slowly and come out not motion sick and reasonably well fed.
The bike is too long not to take a pit stop. I can happily do a double non-stop, but need a 30 minute break (with crash sleep) at about 250 miles in the 3xIM. Seating position is important, of course: comfort is everything .. you can’t go fast when your ar** is hanging off! Just not stopping too often is the key: so* the speed. A big thing I find is to eat very well. The run, like any ultra, is the killer: be it 2xIM, 3xIM, 5xIM or 10xIM … you just can’t eat enough and the chances of blisters are very real (if not guaranteed).
The training thing for me is simple: loads. By November I’ll be training twice everyday except for Saturdays which is just a 2 hour Xcountry run. I swim 3 times per week; 60 mins, 60 mins and 120 mins. I’ll be biking to-and-from work, so that’s ~220 miles per week Mon to Friday on a heavy mountain bike. I’ll run twice: that Saturday Xcountry and Sunday long .. about 20 road miles at dawdle-pace.
Come February, I increase my long swim to 2-and-a-half hours. In April I get into top gear and drop the Saturday run for a 5 hour bike and run at least once a week 10 miles off the bike.
From May .. just more of everything … 6 hours bike on Saturday: 25 miles run on Sunday.
So you’ll see: my method is quite sad really .. no evidence at all of quality, just quantity. Any extra time I have goes into the run .. as much as I can spare without injury.
I hope all this nonsense is of some interest to you. Don’t be intimidated by the large amount that I do. I really am very short of natural talent: I have to substitute by doing loads. Most people succeed with far far less.
Final thought? It’s all hard but in the end, it’s in the run!
Let’s keep in touch. In a few months’ time (hopefully when I’ve thrown-off my present injury), I’ll keep a training log on the Web: I’ll send you the URL.
I think we are all fantastically fortunate to share the ambition, opportunity and ability to even consider these events. It is truly a brotherhood of like-minded people ‘doing for it themselves’ but with the support of those around them.
Very best wishes Tony
Dear Graham
Nice to be ‘on-board’ with you all for the treble.
I am very happy to share experiences with you but pls remember, in the Big World of Statistics, my comments are based on N = 1 !
There’s no doubt about it, the 3xIM is plenty hard: some people say that when you are out there it is every bit as painful as the 10xIM .. just mercifully shorter. My own bête noir is the swim: it’s not very very long but too long not to take very seriously .. as a non-swimmer, I get really fed up with it: for a good swimmer like you, it will be a strength. Just swim slowly and come out not motion sick and reasonably well fed.
The bike is too long not to take a pit stop. I can happily do a double non-stop, but need a 30 minute break (with crash sleep) at about 250 miles in the 3xIM. Seating position is important, of course: comfort is everything .. you can’t go fast when your ar** is hanging off! Just not stopping too often is the key: so* the speed. A big thing I find is to eat very well. The run, like any ultra, is the killer: be it 2xIM, 3xIM, 5xIM or 10xIM … you just can’t eat enough and the chances of blisters are very real (if not guaranteed).
The training thing for me is simple: loads. By November I’ll be training twice everyday except for Saturdays which is just a 2 hour Xcountry run. I swim 3 times per week; 60 mins, 60 mins and 120 mins. I’ll be biking to-and-from work, so that’s ~220 miles per week Mon to Friday on a heavy mountain bike. I’ll run twice: that Saturday Xcountry and Sunday long .. about 20 road miles at dawdle-pace.
Come February, I increase my long swim to 2-and-a-half hours. In April I get into top gear and drop the Saturday run for a 5 hour bike and run at least once a week 10 miles off the bike.
From May .. just more of everything … 6 hours bike on Saturday: 25 miles run on Sunday.
So you’ll see: my method is quite sad really .. no evidence at all of quality, just quantity. Any extra time I have goes into the run .. as much as I can spare without injury.
I hope all this nonsense is of some interest to you. Don’t be intimidated by the large amount that I do. I really am very short of natural talent: I have to substitute by doing loads. Most people succeed with far far less.
Final thought? It’s all hard but in the end, it’s in the run!
Let’s keep in touch. In a few months’ time (hopefully when I’ve thrown-off my present injury), I’ll keep a training log on the Web: I’ll send you the URL.
I think we are all fantastically fortunate to share the ambition, opportunity and ability to even consider these events. It is truly a brotherhood of like-minded people ‘doing for it themselves’ but with the support of those around them.
Very best wishes Tony
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