I decided to post some thing I wrote a few years ago for those interested in moving up to ironman events, I warn you now, there is a LOT of swearing and abuse, if you are offended by such, do not read any further.
I'll publish it in sections, if you nick any of it at least credit me.
Graham
The Long Road Ahead
So you have seen an Ironman Triathlon and now want to do one, you’re all fired up with enthusiasm and ready to go, inspired by what you saw. That incredible effort of mind over body, watching people go to the very edge.
Just think 2.4 mile swim, 112mile bike and 26.2 mile marathon to finish.
Sorry unless you have already done one you can’t, you haven’t got the time or the discipline, you couldn’t commit the next year to eighteen months to the training, you couldn’t do that distance, especially in the time allotted, what about your girlfriend/boyfriend, wife/husband, children, friends, social life then there’s the holiday in Ibiza, you have work commitments, just add to the list……….
That’s not me talking that’s your internal critic, listen, the little voice that whispers that you’re useless, hopeless, worthless anything that ends in less. That is what will stop you from achieving your dreams, not my abuse, that’s here to light the fire that will burn like a forest fire inside you and drive you to achieve your dream.
If you read the glossies that tell you how to be a ‘real man’, how to get a six pack in 6 weeks, how to pull the partner of you dreams, tell you what to eat to be desirable, fuck off, it’s all mental masturbation, you’re being controlled and manipulated to take on a life you don’t need, fuck ‘em, I’m here to destroy that.
If on the other hand your inner voice went ‘Fuck yeah, lets do it’, welcome to my world, blood, sweat, tears, pain, cramps, micropore taped nipples, an emotional roller coaster you would not believe, and a feeling that only you can experience when you cross the finish line and every time you pull on your finishers T-shirt, that one day of pain and suffering for a life long shit eating grin.
Had a guy, I work with, ask me to scrounge him a finisher T-shirt, just so he could wear it in the Gym, didn’t have to say a word, everyone in the office ripped into him. Fucking speed bump, wanna be.
If your content with ‘doing’ the occasional Fun Run or go swimming 2 or 3 times a week, but all you do is hang on the gutter at the end of the lane and talk to your friend, great, fuck off and do ‘em, I’m talking Hard Core Training, when all the others are rotting their brains watching the box on a dark winter night, I’m finishing a 3hr Turbo session and just going for a 6 mile warm down run or while others are tucked up at 7am in a nice warm bed on a cold, rainy Saturday morning I’m doing a 15ml run then gulping down protein drinks that taste like liquid shit, driving a 30mile round trip to the nearest pool that will put up a lane for me when the kids are off school.
We are talking dedication to a sport, there’s no bullshitting in Ironman, you make it to the start line or wuss out, and you’ve gotta believe me I’m talking from experience , 05 Longest Day saw me going into the water with a pulled back muscle, still made it to 13mls into the run, we’ll cover DNF in a later chapter.
To be even fit for an Ironman needs a good base, most don’t ‘race’ until they have 2 or 3 Ironman races under their belt, the first ones are just survival events, as I write this, in 2005, I’m 52 and just finishing my 20th year in Tri’s. It took me 16 years of racing and training to have the bollocks to have a proper go at the Ironman, and all I can tell you is they are fucking great, I don’t care how long you’ve been doing the shorter events nothing compares to finishing an Ironman.
So what do I need to do an Ironman, heart of a lion, stamina of an ox, the brain of a jelly fish and a fucking good sense of humour, lets face it if you can’t laugh at the stupidity of the distances you are going to die, one way or another, so gather up all the romantic images you have of this race and along with your inner critic and flush ‘em down the shitter for a couple of years.
So you have seen an Ironman Triathlon and now want to do one, you’re all fired up with enthusiasm and ready to go, inspired by what you saw. That incredible effort of mind over body, watching people go to the very edge.
Just think 2.4 mile swim, 112mile bike and 26.2 mile marathon to finish.
Sorry unless you have already done one you can’t, you haven’t got the time or the discipline, you couldn’t commit the next year to eighteen months to the training, you couldn’t do that distance, especially in the time allotted, what about your girlfriend/boyfriend, wife/husband, children, friends, social life then there’s the holiday in Ibiza, you have work commitments, just add to the list……….
That’s not me talking that’s your internal critic, listen, the little voice that whispers that you’re useless, hopeless, worthless anything that ends in less. That is what will stop you from achieving your dreams, not my abuse, that’s here to light the fire that will burn like a forest fire inside you and drive you to achieve your dream.
If you read the glossies that tell you how to be a ‘real man’, how to get a six pack in 6 weeks, how to pull the partner of you dreams, tell you what to eat to be desirable, fuck off, it’s all mental masturbation, you’re being controlled and manipulated to take on a life you don’t need, fuck ‘em, I’m here to destroy that.
If on the other hand your inner voice went ‘Fuck yeah, lets do it’, welcome to my world, blood, sweat, tears, pain, cramps, micropore taped nipples, an emotional roller coaster you would not believe, and a feeling that only you can experience when you cross the finish line and every time you pull on your finishers T-shirt, that one day of pain and suffering for a life long shit eating grin.
Had a guy, I work with, ask me to scrounge him a finisher T-shirt, just so he could wear it in the Gym, didn’t have to say a word, everyone in the office ripped into him. Fucking speed bump, wanna be.
If your content with ‘doing’ the occasional Fun Run or go swimming 2 or 3 times a week, but all you do is hang on the gutter at the end of the lane and talk to your friend, great, fuck off and do ‘em, I’m talking Hard Core Training, when all the others are rotting their brains watching the box on a dark winter night, I’m finishing a 3hr Turbo session and just going for a 6 mile warm down run or while others are tucked up at 7am in a nice warm bed on a cold, rainy Saturday morning I’m doing a 15ml run then gulping down protein drinks that taste like liquid shit, driving a 30mile round trip to the nearest pool that will put up a lane for me when the kids are off school.
We are talking dedication to a sport, there’s no bullshitting in Ironman, you make it to the start line or wuss out, and you’ve gotta believe me I’m talking from experience , 05 Longest Day saw me going into the water with a pulled back muscle, still made it to 13mls into the run, we’ll cover DNF in a later chapter.
To be even fit for an Ironman needs a good base, most don’t ‘race’ until they have 2 or 3 Ironman races under their belt, the first ones are just survival events, as I write this, in 2005, I’m 52 and just finishing my 20th year in Tri’s. It took me 16 years of racing and training to have the bollocks to have a proper go at the Ironman, and all I can tell you is they are fucking great, I don’t care how long you’ve been doing the shorter events nothing compares to finishing an Ironman.
So what do I need to do an Ironman, heart of a lion, stamina of an ox, the brain of a jelly fish and a fucking good sense of humour, lets face it if you can’t laugh at the stupidity of the distances you are going to die, one way or another, so gather up all the romantic images you have of this race and along with your inner critic and flush ‘em down the shitter for a couple of years.
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